Due to a series of unfortunate events, and decisions on our part, my husband and I found ourselves wandering around aimlessly trying to find our next thing. The year was 2012 and we were walking through quite a wilderness. I had aches and pains in ways that I didn’t know how to handle and honestly, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pursue ministry any further. I lacked the confidence and reassurance of whether or not God could or would still use me, or if I even had anything left to offer.
At this point, we had been out of work for about 4 months and had reached nearly the end of our savings. During that time and a few months leading up to our departure from ministry, we had been praying for direction. However, the longer the season lasted, we began to wonder more and more if God would ever open a door for us again. We were desperate and found ourselves knocking on every door that we came to.
For those who don’t know the timeframe, we were still newly married and we were confident that all we needed in life was each other. We knew that if everything fell apart around us, and it soon felt like that, that we could make it if we just hung on to each other.
Spoiler alert: We did in fact make it through that wilderness, only to find several more on our journey, and so far, we’re still making it…
I sat in our car using a nearby restaurant’s free wifi, browsing ministry jobs, and praying desperately that we could find the right one. I found one that wasn’t too far away from my home base and contacted the pastor. He called me nearly immediately upon receiving my resume, which is almost 100% unheard of.
As I sat there and talked with this pastor over the phone, he said something along the lines of, “I’m not sure how this Methodist pastor has gotten to a place where I’m on the phone with an Assemblies of God candidate, but let’s do it… Let’s give it a shot.”
In the next breath, he invited us to come and check out their church and interview in person. I couldn’t believe it! I was shocked. Was this it? Was this the comeback story that we had been searching for? It was an incredible opportunity at a multisite church, overseeing student ministry. As a young kid, myself, with almost 5 years of ministry under my belt, I was sheepishly confident that I could handle this role.
And we were terrified! Did I mention that?
Was this the right next step? We had some concerns and were unsettled but we were desperate to get back into the swing of things… and to pay our bills.
Had they offered us the job, we would have taken it because we were desperate.
Let me give you two pieces of free advice: Never take a ministry role A) out of desperation, and B) that you aren’t confident that God has called you to. And by the way, I was NOT confident that God had called us to this place, but I was desperate for an answer to prayer.
Have you ever found yourself desperate for an answer to prayer only to come up empty-handed? Do you know what I’m talking about? You’ve been praying and praying for that thing and you can’t seem to find the break in the clouds? It’s just silent. No answers. No moving mountains. No opening doors. And definitely no windows. Also, another free piece of advice—we gotta stop climbing through windows when doors don’t open for us. More on this later.
So, we’ve been talking about Praying Like You Mean It:
2. How do we know what to pray for?
If you missed either of the earlier parts, you can click on the question above and bookmark it to read later. For now, I want to try to answer one final question in this short series:
3. What happens when we don’t get what we pray for?
Full disclosure: this is a hard one, and I’m probably not going to go deep enough or wide enough to give it the answer it requires, but I want to try to scratch the surface here with three quick thoughts on this question:
A) Keep asking.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Matthew 7:7-8 (NLT)
When you don’t get what you’re hoping, believing, or expecting it can be really hard. It can feel like God doesn’t hear you, but that’s a lie from the enemy in an attempt to get you to quit.
So listen, don’t grow weary in pursuing God. The Lord says: keep knocking. Don’t turn away because you’ve grown impatient. Keep asking. Keep knocking. Keep trusting.
It’s possible that your breakthrough is, at least in part, coming through the patience that you’re developing as you’re praying. It’s possible that the breakthrough you’ll encounter is just on the other side of your faithfulness in continuing to seek the Lord. So, when you’re tempted to give up or walk away, remember this promise from Jesus:
And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
Matthew 7:8 (NLT)
God is not playing a game with your emotions. He just might be waiting, though, to see if you trust Him enough to continue to knock.
B) Trust that God sees what we do not.
I can’t be certain, but I feel like if we had been offered that job at the church in the above-mentioned story, we would have jumped on it. And, knowing all that I know today, I’m not totally sure that we could have made it.
Because here’s the thing: While my husband and I are confident in who God has called us to be, we are also confident that He has not called us to minister in every circle. He has given us gifts and talents, but those gifts will not always be embraced everywhere, and haven’t been, I might add. We’re not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s perfectly okay with us.
We were young and naive and I worry that if we had moved into that role at that church, in that desperate season, we would have been in way over our heads for a few reasons. And, I’m not totally sure that we would have survived it. My heart was fragile, and my self-confidence was low.
Sometimes, when we don’t get what we’re praying for, it’s because God knows it is not good for us. God is supreme and His plans for us are so great. However, sometimes, we get stuck on one small part of this grand story that God has written for us. So, don’t lose hope because He sees it all, while we only see a small part.
I love what one author says about this subject:
“It’s your responsibility to pray. It’s God’s decision to answer according to His will.”
Stormie Omartian, The Power of a Praying Wife
So, when we don’t get the thing we’re praying for, it is so important to keep asking, but equally important to trust God through the process of waiting. There’s a balance in this, and it is crucial that we tap into it. Whether God answers us or not should not hinder our desire to seek after Jesus.
And I get it. Waiting is hard. But, when we’re tempted to throw a temper tantrum for not receiving what we’re praying for, let’s work on trusting that God can see what we do not.
C) Seek God’s heart, don’t just seek God’s hand.
In your pursuit to ask, seek and knock, be sure that you don’t elevate the thing you’re asking for to the place in your heart where Jesus sits. There’s only room in your life for one God and it must be the King of Kings, Adonai, Jehovah-Jireh, El Roi, El Shaddai.
And, it can be so easy to shift our focus off of Jesus and on to the thing we’re praying for. But in doing so, we begin to worship the very thing we’re asking God for. So, if you want to Pray Like You Mean It, determine in your heart today that you’ll seek God’s heart first, above everything else.
Before we wrap this up, I want to encourage you with one last verse:
And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.
Luke 18:1 (ESV)
So continue praying, and do not lose heart! It will be tempting to quit, but keep fighting in the Spirit. Keep waging war against the enemy. Do not quit. Do not stay silent. Lift your head and keep on fighting. Fight for your loved one. Fight for your marriage. Fight for your prodigal child. Fight for healing. Fight for salvation. Fight for peace. Pray Like You Mean It. No more safe prayers. No more meek and shallow prayers.
As you begin to trust that God sees what you cannot, I’m praying that you would look up and see how God has been faithful in your life. Not only in giving you the desires of your heart, but also in that He has not given you what you don’t need. May you experience fresh hope in your prayer life and experience God in ways that you have yet to see.
There’s hope for you today.