I’m an emotional person; I wear my heart on my sleeve. This can be really bad in a lot of ways because quite often I struggle with sorting through emotions in an instant and addressing others when I feel wronged or hurt. 

Truthfully, I handle my feelings and emotions the best way that I can. Sometimes, I get it right. But most of the time, and I hate to admit this, I get it not-so-right. That’s my subtle way of saying that I get it wrong a lot.

But, what do we do? What should we consider when it comes to people who hurt us or wrong us or rub us the wrong way? If God calls us to live at peace with others (see Romans 12:18), then how do we do it? If you missed the part leading into this blog post, you can find it here. 

*I want to add a disclaimer at the top: I’m not a therapist. These are just my own thoughts based on personal experience and sorting through God’s Word the best way that I know. 

And I want to jump right in because I have a lot to say.

Four Reminders to Live at Peace in a Chaotic World:

1. Your PEACE can only come from THE PEACEMAKER. 

Long ago, the prophet Isaiah wrote about a coming King, and this is what He said: 

“For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

Is. 9:6 NLT

Jesus is the ultimate peacemaker. He is not only Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, but He is the Prince of Peace. Now, while all those who claim to be Christians should live as peacemakers, the only way to actually operate in peace is to understand where our peace comes from in the first place. 

One thing that I have been working on re-learning lately is this: my peace is not dependent on man. And, listen, I know that’s solid on paper but that’s been really hard for me to apply in real life. 

This is why this is so important:

No one can take my peace.

I need you to say that out loud. 

No one can take my peace. 

Did you say it? Come on. Don’t worry about who’s around you because maybe they need to hear this too.

No one can take my peace.

And, in the same way, no one can replenish my peace. 

Do you know why? Because my peace didn’t come from man in the first place.

No one can give you peace the way that God can, and no one can take that peace from you because it didn’t come from them in the first place. 

Now, the Bible tells us that we have a real enemy who is roaming around and searching for those who he can devour. And his main goal is to steal, kill and destroy your life. See 1 Peter 5:8 and John 10:10.

So, he will use anyone, and I mean, anyone, to attempt to rob you of your peace. But he doesn’t have the authority to take it from you. He doesn’t win this battle. Peace isn’t the enemy’s to give or take. You better jump up and dance all over this one today! 

Real peace can only come from the Prince of Peace. All other attempts are just that. An attempt. And if it doesn’t come from the Lord, then it’s just counterfeit.

So, when we start talking about living at peace with others… We also need to know:

2. It starts with us. 

Although our peace can only come from God, we have to be willing to make a conscious decision to choose peace. 

And, I know that’s really what we’re talking about here, but this is why I’m adding it to the list because you can know all the right things and still choose to not do the right thing. 

In Romans, Paul talks about this internal struggle of knowing what to do, and wanting to do the right thing, and inevitably doing the wrong thing. This is why choosing a lifestyle of peace, choosing to be a peacemaker makes the list, because it starts with us making a decision to walk in peace.

When you wake up, choose peace. 

Before you put your feet on the floor first thing in the morning, choose peace. 

When you sit down to drink that first cup of coffee, choose peace. 

When you get in the car, (this is a big one for some of you crazy drivers, not like my husband, of course), choose peace. 

Your opinion is challenged at work? Instead of choosing offense, choose peace. 

Ok, let me break it down like this: 

Choosing a lifestyle of peace is really just submitting to the leading of the Holy Spirit. 

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.”

Rom. 5:18 ESV

Learning to control your emotions is hard work but the reward is peace. 

The choice is ours and the decision to live at peace falls on us.

3. Pray for those who hurt you. This is where some of you will check out because it’s one of those things that we know to do… But, don’t tune me out.

This is a hard habit to start because when you’ve been hurt your flesh wants to rise up and respond with hurt. So, when you start thinking about praying for those who have hurt you, your flesh doesn’t want to bless them! Maybe it’s just me but my flesh wants to pray that God would take ‘em out! This is so bad though! 

“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”

Matt 5:44 NLT

Jesus commands us to love those who have wronged us. And, the best way to start that process is by praying for them because:

When your spirit lines up with God’s spirit your perspective changes. 

Your hurt turns into compassion, and maybe not right away. And, that’s ok.

When you pray, you’ll begin to see others the way that God sees them. You’ll begin to see the situation the way that God sees it when you take it to the throne of God. 

In God’s presence, even the greatest hurt can diminish. The hardest situation can become easier when we take our eyes off of what happened in the natural and look at it in the supernatural. When we pray, we see the enemy using miscommunication, misunderstandings, and other emotions that sometimes have nothing to do with us personally but are taken personally because it impacts us personally. 

So, when you feel wronged or hurt, start praying.

Pray for those who have wronged, hurt, or offended you, or those who are just hard to love, and watch how God will change YOU. Because here’s the thing: living at peace doesn’t have anything to do with others. It’s a choice that you and I make to submit to the authority and the leading of the Holy Spirit. 

4. Forgive.

There I said it. 

Forgive. This is a really hard one, maybe the most difficult one yet.

Forgive those who hurt you. Ouch!

Now, one thing I’ve found is that if I’ve already started praying, then forgiving is actually a little easier because my heart has already been softened through time in God’s presence.

One of the most common verses in the Bible is found in the book of Matthew, and you gotta love Peter’s attitude here: 

“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

Matt. 18:21-22 NLT

There’s not enough here for me to really know how Peter reacted when Jesus told him he needed to actively forgive others. But I know that later on, Peter grabbed his sword in a fight and cut a dude’s ear off instead of walking away and living this word out.

This gives me hope because when I’m arguing with my husband and I accidentally cut his ear off, then I can point back to Peter, who even though he knew the Word of God, still missed it. Ok, obviously I’m joking, I would never do that! My husband wouldn’t be able to hear me gripe and complain anymore!

Ok, seriously though, I’m kidding…

This last point is tied to the previous point because the only way you can truly forgive someone that has hurt you or someone who habitually hurts you is by praying for them. 

Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive, and I believe that Peter thought he was being generous with the number he threw out. And Jesus knew that but He also saw how broken humanity is when He told Peter that a handful of forgiveness wasn’t enough. 

It’s not enough to forgive someone and then never allow them the grace to make any more mistakes. 

God wants us to forgive and live at peace. And the way we do that is by understanding where peace comes from, by choosing a lifestyle of peace, praying for those who hurt us and then ultimately choosing to forgive.

And sometimes, choosing to forgive is a really long and exhausting process. But, don’t you owe it to yourself? Don’t you owe it to those around you? The world needs us to live at peace with them, but most importantly, Jesus has called us to do it. 

So today, I am praying for you that whoever needs your grace would find it. That you would be intentional in the way that you love others and that God would soften your heart as you begin to make changes in the way you view others. As you pray for those who have hurt you, may God open your eyes to the war that’s raging around you so that you might be able to exchange hurt for grace. 

There’s hope for you today.