Let me just start like this: What you place your hope in is nearly as important as it is that you find hope in the first place.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Like many young girls, my favorite thing to play was pretending to be a mom. I had more baby dolls than any girl ever should. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, I had real baby bottles that I used for my baby dolls, and real strollers to push, because I was a tall kid. Saying that I loved playing “babies,” is definitely an understatement.
My dad used to ask me how many babies I wanted to have when I grew up and got married, and the answer was always 100. Yes, you’re reading that number right! I loved kids. And, yes, I now realize how unrealistic that number was.
My husband and I will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary in just a little over three weeks from the time that I write this, and kids still haven’t made it into our little family yet. And, I should add, in the midst of the doubts that I face from time to time, which can be extremely overwhelming in some instances… I ultimately find peace knowing that God is working things out behind the scenes.
The Bible gives this definition for faith.
“Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.”
Hebrews 11:1 NLT
I find peace knowing that He is working in ways that I can’t see in the natural. And, listen, this is what gives me hope that one day our circumstances will change. I have to have faith that what has become our normal won’t stay normal forever. Because, honestly, if I don’t live in faith, I’m not really living. I’ve been there and tried to live without faith, and it’s miserable.
We live in a small, 2-bedroom house and our second bedroom isn’t a home office, or a spare room. It isn’t a catch-all. The pets don’t play in there. We don’t have luggage stored in there. Inside our small, second room right now, is a crib that we bought brand new, a toybox with a few small toys in it, wall art waiting to be hung, diapers waiting to be unboxed, bottles waiting to be washed and sterilized, and a closet (and totes) full of brand new (with tags on) baby clothes for both a girl and a boy.
This is my faith poured out in the natural. My hope manifested in the physical.
(More on this in the future.)
But for now, I want to talk about what hope isn’t.
Sometimes we can be blinded by what we place our hope in, or what we hope for, and mistake that for real hope.
I feel like I should give a small Trigger Warning this week because this is a sensitive topic for many. You may want to stop here and save it for a day when you feel better and are able to continue reading, or even years after some healing has come to you and your current situation. I won’t be offended if that’s you. In fact, I would be honored to pray for you if that is you. Let me know that you stopped reading and I’ll know why, and you’ll be added to my prayer list. No questions asked.
Sometimes we can place our hope in things… In stuff… Only to be really disappointed when that stuff, those things, no longer provide the joy that we once had or exhibit the hope that we once felt.
There are some misunderstandings about hope that I need to communicate:
Hope isn’t in a nursery that’s set up, waiting for the baby that hasn’t made its way into a picture yet.
Hope isn’t in a brand-new crib without a baby on the way.
Hope isn’t in purchasing clothes for a baby that you don’t have.
Hope isn’t in toys, or diapers, or blankets, or stuffed rhinos for a child that is nowhere in sight.
Let me bring it down a notch…
Hope isn’t in a marriage counselor when your marriage is falling apart.
Hope isn’t in an AA program when your son or daughter ends up gripped by an addiction that is too big to crawl out of on their own.
Hope isn’t in what you can or cannot do to repair what is broken.
This isn’t where our hope lies. It can’t be. We can’t place our hope in people… items… things… stuff…
And just to clarify, I believe that marriage counselors and AA programs are great places to start. When you’re in over your head, get help. There isn’t anything wrong with seeking professional help when you need it. I’m not shaming anyone who seeks professional help. In fact, if that’s you, then you are a few steps ahead of a lot of us already, and I commend you for it.
But here’s what we need to see today: if our hope is in a marriage counselor or an AA program, or if it’s in purchasing clothes for a baby that we don’t have yet, or if it’s in what we think we can do personally, then our hope has been misplaced.
Our hope must be in the living God, who restores brokenness, who takes our burnt ashes, our decaying and rotting leftovers, and creates something beautiful.
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory.
Isaiah 61:3 NLT
Every month that passes and the crib is still empty, the cycle starts over.
I have a choice to make, I can either choose to sulk, and sometimes I choose to sulk.
OR, I can choose hope. Listen, as hard and as vulnerable as this is for me to write, I know how hard it is to live it out, to read, to hear, to be challenged with.
Because in a situation that I don’t have any control over, I must place my trust, and as a result, my hope, in the only One who can do it. My hope isn’t in my husband. My hope isn’t in the crib, or the hundreds of dollars that I’ve spent on baby clothes. My hope isn’t in a car seat. It’s not in Lincoln Logs, baby bottles, stuffed rhinos… My hope is in the Living God who holds the whole entire world in the palm of His hands.
You see, when I add to the nursery, I’m not buying faith itself, or buying something to place my hope in. Instead, I am declaring my faith in a God that I cannot see, for children that have yet to be.
What we place our hope in is just as important as finding hope in the first place.
I don’t know what you’re hoping for today. I don’t know how empty you feel or whether you feel like you’ve been dealt a bad hand. If you feel like you’ve pulled the short stick and feel like everyone else has somehow figured out what you haven’t… I want to encourage you today, that you’re not alone. I can acknowledge that the odds of my story being relatable to many aren’t very great. But, if you take my circumstances away, and we just talk about the emptiness, or the loneliness, or how unfair life is, or the brokenness, I would guess that some of us may actually feel more alike than we initially thought. If you are mourning what you have lost or have yet to hold in your arms, then I want to encourage you with the hope that I have found. Because, God wants to place a crown of beauty on your head in exchange for your ashes. He wants to turn your mourning into a joyous celebration. Did you know that you could celebrate in the midst of pain?
I want you to know that I’m praying for you today and each day this week that you will find the ability to smile in your struggle because of where your hope lies. I pray the prayer of hope in Romans 15:13 over your life today: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (NIV). That you would find hope regardless of what you’re facing because there is MUCH hope to be found.
There is hope for today.